You know you're a Doctor when.....

As mentioned in the title, When:

1)The instant you say you're a Doctor to an acquaintance, they start of with a totally vague symptom thinking you know the diagnosis,AND the treatment.Which is what they expect you to do because,and let's face it,you are a doctor.

However,the history these acquaintances(now prospective patients) offer is far from diagnostic.Such as:

a)I have this major pain in my arse,what could you think it could be?Is there any treatment for it?

We might want to answer that the pain is most likely a failing marraige,but we are forced to say that it could be haemorrhoids.

2)People start bitching to you about the kind of care that they received the last time they,or their relatives,were in hospital. And the fact of the matter is that you don't have a clue how things work in that hospital,nor can you defend or persecute the hospital for same.

Yet you say something like "Yeah,some hospitals tend to be that way" instead of saying "I don't have a freaking clue what you're talking about, man"

3)People tell you "Wow!!You're a Doctor!!So you're raking in the moolah aren't you?"

When the answer is that "Dude/Dudette,I'm unemployed"

4)When people ask you what it is you're specializing in. You would want to say "Fuck you!! I'm working my ass off to get into a speciality you retard!!"

Yet you say "Well i'm interested in surgery,(not to mention what makes you tick((should the interviewer be a particularly smouldering female)))"

5)People say that how they wish they were a doctor,yet due to some family circumstance,they were unable to. We say what we think,namely "You lucky Bastard" and we mean it with all of our heart.

6)Those in high paying jobs say "Wow!There's shitloads of money to be made in Medicine"

When the reality is that the shitloads we might be making will come at the time when we have a wife and kids to fend for....and the people who so graciously said we'll be making shitloads have had their share of all night discos,totally unwarrantied vacations and would have paid off their loans for their cars and flats and whatnot.

Anyway,I'm all written out for now. Just to lighten up your mood!! My aim is to make a movie out of all this......and those who read this I'll sponsor their tickets for the premiere:-)

Peace out.