The Dark Knight

Hi, and how are you doing? I suppose I can always blame work for not being able to blog more often, but as always, the real truth is somewhere between the long hours and my personal lack of initiative to sit down and put thought on to the internet.

I have seen The Dark Knight, and I feel that the movie was amazing, awesome, hu-aah, and all other superlatives that I can't think of at the moment. It looks, in theory to be a one man show, with the late Mr.Ledger blowing us all away with a performance that should earn him a posthumous Oscar award, not nomination, for playing an iconic villain in a way that nobody ever thought he could, or would do. But it was a team effort. From the Nolan brothers to Wally Pfeister's cinematography to Hans Zimmer and James Newton-Howard's epic score to just as intense performances by Christian Bale, Aaron Eckhart, and Gary Oldman.The latter two deserve special mention for playing their roles to absolute perfection. I was a bit touch and go when I heard that Eckhart was slated to play Harvey Dent, and I am damn glad that he has proven me wrong one hundred percent. Oldman is also amazing as Jim Gordon, and he is pivotal in making the last scene of the movie so unbelievably intense, at the culmination of which you sayto yourself :"Whoa,Phew,I can't think of anything to say!!"

I have seen it thrice and am planning to go again a fourth time. Because although the script has it's flaws, this is one movie that somehow manages to blend in 2 genres to near perfection. And for that itself, Nolan should pat himself on the back. I must say that it would have taken guts to cast an actor most noted for playing a repressed homosexual cowboy as one of the most meanest mutherfuckers ever to appear in the history if comic book novels, and yet he did, and the result is for all of us to see,and worship, and mourn.

Will there be a third installment in the series? It depends on Nolan. Although the movie's ending most likely promises a sequel, if Nolan does not feel it's right, then it's fine, 'cos he believes in quality over quantity, but if he does plan to come out with part 3 ,then it's interesting to see whom he would cast as a villain who suits the Gotham that he has so expertly created. I honestly doubt that the Catwoman, Riddler, or the Penguin will be cast. Let's see how it goes...I'm sure many of us will be waiting with baited breath for what will transpire in the days to come.

In other news, India has done well in the Olympics, coming off with 3 medals with one of them being a first time Gold. Hopefully, this should give the entire sporting community in India a much needed facelift, as everybody cares about only cricket here. This might give other people the courage to follow the sport of their choice, and yet have the conviction that it might reap them rewards, just as it did for Abhinav Bindra.

In other news, there isn't any!! That is if you can exclude ward work, the casualty duties, more ward work, and then more admissions, and more case conferences, and more......well...you know how it ends!(It doesn't really, not in NIMHANS!)

More later.

Good night, and Good luck.

What is the answer?

The world has become a much darker place to live in. Although it was obvious from the start that terrorism is out there,and is rampant, it's always with a knowledge that we weren't there when it happened;we hear it in the news,listen to it, and then carry on with our lives.

What happened here in Bangalore was a wake-up call. In fact,it happened very close to the place where I am working,and the news got out that there have been 7 low intensity blasts scattered across the city,in key traffic areas too. And it was then that I realised that it can harm me too,something that had never occured to me before.

The next day,I had gone to the Forum to book tickets for a movie,and as I was calling my friends and asking them whether I should book tickets for them as well,they told me to stay away from the Forum as there was a bomb that had been disabled there this morning. While I later learnt that it was not,in fact, in the Forum that the bomb was disabled but within a short distance from there,at the time I heard it I was wondering just how crazy things have become.

How do we deal with this? The next day there were blasts in Ahmedabad that killed around 40 people. There is no answer. Carry on with our lives?Is that what we can tell the families of those people who were killed? It's all to easy to say that we should fight back,that we should retaliate. What are the consequences? It'll give the people who plotted the attack exactly what they want: an all out war,where thousands more will die. Just don't give a damn?

If you know the answer,let me know.

I have just returned from a late night show,and all the while I was at the mall and a few times I was watching the movie I was thinking to myself :What will happen if the bomb goes out now? How will it be if I see the bomb exploding right in front of me? I hope that the day will come when our children,more likely our grandchildren will live in a world where the only thing worrying people is how much they are making a difference to the lives of others,and not about caring for their safety as they are being threatened by the plague that is continuing to hound us presently.

Please do not misunderstand this entry to be an ultra right wing call to arms or an anti-religious attack. It's merely my thoughts as they had occured the past 2 days,thats's all.

Take care.

.....and the meaning of life.

What are we here for,ultimately? Earning shitloads of money?To further the family name? To finally prove to somebody that we are more than what they thought we were? What is the primary aim of our existence here on earth?

There have been volumes printed on this subject..and I do not purport to be an authority on this subject. But here I would like to present my viewpoint. Feel free to roll your eyes and doze off as you please.

I feel the ultimate purpose is to feel free inside. Not in a way that destroys our bodies and our souls like how most drugs do, but in the kind of manner that makes us liberated when we know that we have come to terms with who we are and have accepted it, instead of forever fighting with these issues with no end to the battle in sight.

I do not mean this in a way that we accept all the negative energies we have within us and say "Well,this is who I am,and that's that," but to change,with genuine intent,what we see within us as not productive to the bigger picture as to how we see ourselves,and not how others see us.

This is easier said than done, and the number of people who achieve it in their lifetimes is miniscule. In fact, it is the hardest thing that we will have to face in our journey here.

If you know how to do it,do let me know.

The choice for freedom,regardless of circumstance is there everywhere. Those who are interested in this subject can read "Man's search for meaning" by Viktor Frankl,a Jewish Psychiatrist who was imprisoned by the Nazis during World War 2. How he came to terms with his situation-he had lost his wife, and his brother and other immediate members of his family-and used it to his advantage-is masterfully depicted. He says that,ultimately, not matter whatever the shit it is that is going on around you, there is the core of you that can choose how you respond to it.

I can only hope that we do not need such dramatic and stressful life events to make us aware of it. We can realise it right now,as I type this and as you read it,that it is ultimately within us. We can always make excuses for not being able to do it, but in the end it will catch up with us.

Heavy Duty!!

Hi,

It has been 2 months since the last entry and the reason for said delay is the fact that I have started my residency in NIMHANS,Bangalore, and it's a Baptism by Fire kind of situation. From spending the past 2 years in virtual hibernation in front of a book to 12 hour days in a tertiary referral centre was a bit jarring. Although welcoming work,it didn't take immediately....the hectic hours, the endless number of patients in the OPD, to weekly duties and so on.

One thing I have realised is that the mental aspect of suffering is way way overlooked. It is all too easy to concentrate on the physical,organic aspects of health,but in truth the daily issues we wrestle with occur in our minds. I am,of course, not referring to the overtly psychotic schizpohrenia kind of picture, but we do encounter mental strain more often than we do the physical kind.

The number of psychotic cases,defined by the ICD(International Classification of Diseases) as that having delusional or hallucinatory behaviour with disturbances in Psychomotor Activity,is truly astounding. The Neuroses and the Anxiety cases are a minority,something which I did not anticipate,thinking that they far outweigh the Psychotic/Schizophrenia spectrum. But in truth it is the other way around.

The agony a patient with mental illness goes through can only be imagined. My professor told me that the film "A Beautiful Mind" starring Russell Crowe is a kind of marker to understand what a patient goes through..in the movie,the protagonist does not know what is real and what isn't! Imagine being in a situation like that,where you believe things to be true but it is in fact the other way around.

Ok,ok enough of the hi funda gyaan.

I do not know why people have praised Iron Man so much. I did not find anything so spetacular with it to begin with, although it is better than The Fantastic Four series, but not better than the X Men,well at least not yet.It will depend on the further sequels to decide. But Robert Downey nailed the part of Tony Stark,who later on becomes Iron Man. Nobody could be better suited for the role,man.

Only a little more than a month left for The Dark Knight!! It is gonna rock. Seriously can not wait.

I haven't had much time to discuss the circumstances that lead to my getting an MD,when the 5 of you who have read my previous entries will recall that I was chosen for the Diploma in Psychiatry but not the MD. That,I hope will be covered in the next one.

Take Care.

2 contrasting letters.

Letter 1:

Hi!!
Today is one of the happiest days of my life!! The Supreme Court has okayed the OBC reservation! Which means that people like me can get into IIM,the place of my dreams and what my family would love for me to get into,at only half the struggle that those poor unreserved candidates have to slog night and day for!

Although I am not so poor-we have an independent house and 2 cars-and have had a good education-and I am not so dumb either,ah but who cares!! Now my getting into IIM is so much easier. Although the Supreme Court has said that the "creamy layer-" by that I guess they mean me,are to be excluded,we can bribe a clerk in the Government Office to get us a certificate saying that we are underprevileged,and life will be a cakewalk after that! Even if that fails,and the clerk tends to be a bit stubborn,we'll pay him cash and give him a bottle of the finest Scotch and the latest mobile phone as gifts. Hell,a little bit of money for a lifetime of comfort. It isn't such a bad bargain right?

I feel sorry for my friends who belong to the unreserved category,but I'm sure this is payback for the centuries we've suffered as a people. Many of my friends are not as well off as I am,and they're also writing the CAT exams-without reservation,mind you-I don't know what their chances are. I guess I stand a better chance than them,although many of them are more hard working than me. But in the end.it's all about me,and I'm happy for this.

Sometimes I wonder whether I'll go through my whole life being branded now that this quota will be implemented. But so what? My family and future generations will be in comfort,and it's a fair trade for a few uncomfortable moments now and then.

I am so pleased with the Government that my vote will surely go to them-and the elections are coming up soon!! I really thank them for finally giving us a voice with which we can speak-the voice of a quality education in a premier institute that is otherwise nearly impossible to get into if I would written it without the quota in my pocket. Thanks so much!!

Letter 2:

I can't believe that they're going through with it. I thought that truth and fairness would always prevail,but now I realise how naive I truly was! I come from a middle class family,and I got into Engineering College on my own merit and a free seat,at that. And until now I was working really hard to get into IIM,but now that this quota has been implemented,I honestly don't know what my chances are. Because I know for a fact that I am hard working,but now an OBC candidate who works half as hard as me will be selected! And he will be picked up by all the multi nationals! I also know that I am not as brilliant as most of the people who get through the cut throat competition. But then an OBC candidate will get the same mark as me-which means he would not have been selected otherwise-and get into IIM-A! Is this fairness? Is this Justice?

How can I look at my good friend-who is now one of the previleged lot-and not be envious of him? Won't it affect our friendship? Won't it create a rift between people like me and people like him? How can I control my anger when he gets into any esteemed institute of his choice and I don't,when we've both worked exactly the same?

I guess the only option for me is to go abroad now,if I don't get into IIM. What other option do I have? I don't want my children to suffer the same way I have. They deserve a better life than this,for sure.

I thought the days of casteism had come to an end. Now with this quota,it's come back with a bang,bigger than ever.Thanks for listening. You may know of me but do pray for me and people like me,it's the only thing that will work for "us," as opposed to "them."

Why Psychiatry?

Those of you who have read my blog previously must be knowing that I'm going to be doing a 2 year residency in Psychiatry. And it has been something that I've been adamant on doing for a long time. People have often asked me why it was that I was so keen on doing a residency in only this field.

I don't know the answer to that one yet. Not fully anyways. I believe that people have as many mental problems as organic ones. I believe that it is important to improve the quality of people's lives,and not only the duration of it. I believe that mental health is a science that is still in it's infancy,where there is a lot of as yet untapped potential to flourish.

When compared to about 50 years back when Schizophrenics were tied to their beds and made to stay there until they were deemed cured. Sometimes a cure was never possible. Now,it is possible to be cured of the condition on an OPD Basis,without even Hospitalization. Even if a cure is possible 33% of the time,remarkable progress has still been made. Same with Depression,and with Bi-Polar Mood Disorder. But there is still a stigma attached to this field,especially in rural areas,even to this day,when epileptics are thought to be possessed by a spirit when in the midst of a seizure.

The problem of addiction is something that will also need attention. Especially with the times as they are now. According to Dr.Ali Khwaja,noted Psychologist and Career Counsellor,Bangalore has the highest number of Cocaine addicts in the whole country! This is in addition to Alcohol and other substance abuse issues.

This is one area of medical practice that is a bit of an orphan as far as the medical fraternity is concerned. I guess that old adage which has been used for a long time and given in Erich Segal's medical romance 'Doctors' says it all:
A Physician knows everything and does nothing,
A Surgeon knows nothing and does everything,
A Psychiatrist knows nothing and does nothing.

So,there are challenges in this field. The most important of them is to remove all the misconceptions that are related to Psychiatry,and to make the services more accesible to the public. Not in terms of actual availability of Psychiatrists,but to reduce the inhibitions they might have to meet one.

It's an uphill task. No doubting that one. Let's hope change occurs; rapidly and effectively.

Sorry for the long hiatus,Ladies and Gems,but for the past month or so I've been used to doing absolutely nothing and loving it. The sheer effort to try to type thought into screen was too much to bear for this person who can have a degree,if it existed,for slacking off. At least in one area of my life I can get a gold medal!!
In the meantime I've been trying to read a little of the huge backlog of books that I had amassed while being immersed in Academia(Pretending to be immersed in academia,really). One of my favorite authors whose books I had been wanting to read is John Irving. His works are basically black comedy,but there are times when he can be poignant. In addition to being laugh out loud funny,but for the most part his works balance the two. And he does it really well,man.

"Until I find you" is his latest novel,and one of his darker ones.It tells the story of an emotionally numb actor who turns out that way due to the relationships he has with his hippie mother and a host of women who are older than him,but who play a pivotal role in shaping his future character. It also deals with the topic of child abuse,as seen through the eyes of an eleven year old, and the whole issue of how people conceal secrets from you and reveal what they want you to believe and hide away the truth conveniently for their own twisted purposes. The flaw in this novel,as in many others of his,is a tendency to overdescribe. Especially locations and situations. But his characterizations are superbly executed.

"The Water Method Man" is perhaps his funniest novel,about a shallow,self serving young man who sort of drifts through life...and about his embarrasing urinary condition!! How he realises the errors of his ways and tries to rectify them is what his novel is about. It's non linear sequence was something I liked. But after perhaps "The World according to Garp," this is his funniest novel yet.

One thing that I realized after reading "Until I find you" is of the paramount importance of human relationships,especially the ones betwen parents and children. But how something as seemingly trivial as a simple interaction between two people can lead to our lives being a living nightmare,or a wonderful experience,is something I am fascinated by. How they are the subject of virtually every song ever sung in mainstream media,and how therapists come on talk shows to counsel couples at war(or on the brink of divorce) and milk their tragedy to their maximum advantage,and how countless books have been written on the subject.

And yet,this is something that cannot be truly solved in one fell swoop. It needs time,it needs effort,it needs patience, and more than anything it needs people admitting they're wrong,even when they have a great deal invested in appearing to be right,or claiming to be. And the ability to meet the other person midway,even when it's something you really don't want to do.

This theme has been highlighted in "Magnolia," the Paul Thomas Anderson film that shows how the lives of many people intersect on one particular day,and how the only thing people are looking for is love,acceptance,and forgiveness. And those things not being given to them causing them to hate themselves and their lives. It's beautifully acted and well written,but there is one sequence that makes it become a Hindi movie. But the movie still carries itself pretty well.

"Taare Zameen Par" is one of the top 5 Hindi movies of all time. It's fantastic,man. Darsheel Safary is so convincing as a Dyslexic that for a while I really thought he was Mentally Challenged. It is such a beautiful movie that I couldn't stop crying from beginning to end. The way in which children who are "different" are treated in school is fantastic. It is the brutal truth. Although every school tries to tolerate-not encourage,mind you-children with special needs,they fall short and the teachers end up being totally frustrated and hurl out all their frustrations on that poor child. How will a child know? How will a child know that the teacher had a bad day at home and hence is shouting at him more than what is necessary? And imagine the kind of trauma that the child will have to face. It's scary to think about it.

The traffic in Bangalore is becoming worse. The continuum is expanding at an alarming rate. What was intolerable a few years back is now considered "manageable". More trees are being felled,to make way for more traffic. The city of Bangalore has had more traffic and more malls,and more employment opportunities in recent years. But all the malls have exactly the same shops! A Levi's showroom,a KFC,an expensive bookstore,and a Westside showroom etc etc. The point is the malls are expensive,and many of them are similar. I don't know if there is even a point I'm driving home here. It's just that semi-duplicity is rampant these days.

The character of a city is not determined by the number of expensive places there are for shopping,and not by the number of fast food places that are there. It is determined by..........

The number of pubs it has! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Ok,sorry. Bangalore rocks!!!!

No,really.

The basic allure of Bangalore might have been in the greenery of the city,in it's climate,in the hospitality of it's people. Not in the malls and in the showrooms and the rest of that jazz.But it is true that this was where pub culture originated. Ok,maybe I'm a bit biased.......Kidding!

Now it's time for a confession: Recently I made a ruthless estimation of my good and bad points. There was one particular trait I could not classify. It was this: An amazing ability to state the obvious.

Now can you,the reader,after having read my blogs,ever say I have stated the obvious? Naaawww......

And among the numerous bad points I listed out,sarcasm was in the top ten. Me??!! Sarcastic?? Those who know me well will be shocked!

OK,just a little bit of humor to lighten the mood a little.

"No Country for Old Men" did not deserve the Best Picture Oscar. I feel it should have been "There will be Blood." What I didn't like about "No Country.." was the fact that there is a lot that is left to the imagination of the viewer,maybe this was what helped it win Best Picture. But I want to watch a movie to be entertained,maybe to be moved,and for me to give me something ponder over. If the moral of the story is that life basically goes on,regardless of what happens,or that nothing will change anyway,then there's no point in my going for a movie is there? I can see that in real life well enough!!

Daniel Day Lewis was brilliant,as usual in "There will..." I think we can only see searing performances from him. Same with Denzel Washington. He can only be excellent. Like in "Philadelphia," where I felt his performance ruled the movie. Although Tom Hanks won the Oscar,I feel Denzel should have at least been nominated. Because it's not only a movie about a lawyer who has AIDS,it's also a movie about a homophobic lawyer who defends a gay man. Same with Edward Norton. It'll be really cool to see him as Bruce Banner,and as the one who transforms to the Incredible Hulk. Heath Ledger,before he passed away was also one who was the role he played.He wasn't an actor who played the part .He was the part. In Indian actors,Aamir Khan is the best of the lot. All these guys give so much of their energy to the role they play that it's a pleasure to see them on screen.

Ok guys,I'm typed out for now. I'll be writing soon. Stay tuned!

Mukund.