.....and the meaning of life.

What are we here for,ultimately? Earning shitloads of money?To further the family name? To finally prove to somebody that we are more than what they thought we were? What is the primary aim of our existence here on earth?

There have been volumes printed on this subject..and I do not purport to be an authority on this subject. But here I would like to present my viewpoint. Feel free to roll your eyes and doze off as you please.

I feel the ultimate purpose is to feel free inside. Not in a way that destroys our bodies and our souls like how most drugs do, but in the kind of manner that makes us liberated when we know that we have come to terms with who we are and have accepted it, instead of forever fighting with these issues with no end to the battle in sight.

I do not mean this in a way that we accept all the negative energies we have within us and say "Well,this is who I am,and that's that," but to change,with genuine intent,what we see within us as not productive to the bigger picture as to how we see ourselves,and not how others see us.

This is easier said than done, and the number of people who achieve it in their lifetimes is miniscule. In fact, it is the hardest thing that we will have to face in our journey here.

If you know how to do it,do let me know.

The choice for freedom,regardless of circumstance is there everywhere. Those who are interested in this subject can read "Man's search for meaning" by Viktor Frankl,a Jewish Psychiatrist who was imprisoned by the Nazis during World War 2. How he came to terms with his situation-he had lost his wife, and his brother and other immediate members of his family-and used it to his advantage-is masterfully depicted. He says that,ultimately, not matter whatever the shit it is that is going on around you, there is the core of you that can choose how you respond to it.

I can only hope that we do not need such dramatic and stressful life events to make us aware of it. We can realise it right now,as I type this and as you read it,that it is ultimately within us. We can always make excuses for not being able to do it, but in the end it will catch up with us.

Heavy Duty!!

Hi,

It has been 2 months since the last entry and the reason for said delay is the fact that I have started my residency in NIMHANS,Bangalore, and it's a Baptism by Fire kind of situation. From spending the past 2 years in virtual hibernation in front of a book to 12 hour days in a tertiary referral centre was a bit jarring. Although welcoming work,it didn't take immediately....the hectic hours, the endless number of patients in the OPD, to weekly duties and so on.

One thing I have realised is that the mental aspect of suffering is way way overlooked. It is all too easy to concentrate on the physical,organic aspects of health,but in truth the daily issues we wrestle with occur in our minds. I am,of course, not referring to the overtly psychotic schizpohrenia kind of picture, but we do encounter mental strain more often than we do the physical kind.

The number of psychotic cases,defined by the ICD(International Classification of Diseases) as that having delusional or hallucinatory behaviour with disturbances in Psychomotor Activity,is truly astounding. The Neuroses and the Anxiety cases are a minority,something which I did not anticipate,thinking that they far outweigh the Psychotic/Schizophrenia spectrum. But in truth it is the other way around.

The agony a patient with mental illness goes through can only be imagined. My professor told me that the film "A Beautiful Mind" starring Russell Crowe is a kind of marker to understand what a patient goes through..in the movie,the protagonist does not know what is real and what isn't! Imagine being in a situation like that,where you believe things to be true but it is in fact the other way around.

Ok,ok enough of the hi funda gyaan.

I do not know why people have praised Iron Man so much. I did not find anything so spetacular with it to begin with, although it is better than The Fantastic Four series, but not better than the X Men,well at least not yet.It will depend on the further sequels to decide. But Robert Downey nailed the part of Tony Stark,who later on becomes Iron Man. Nobody could be better suited for the role,man.

Only a little more than a month left for The Dark Knight!! It is gonna rock. Seriously can not wait.

I haven't had much time to discuss the circumstances that lead to my getting an MD,when the 5 of you who have read my previous entries will recall that I was chosen for the Diploma in Psychiatry but not the MD. That,I hope will be covered in the next one.

Take Care.